A Sad Little Man's Take on Dude Radio Episode 3

Good evening/early morning loyal way more readers. I'd like to start this blog by apologizing for my absence on Dude Radio Episode 3, I had a family lunch in New York City and got home too late to participate (plus my ass was really sore, but that's a whole other animal). I just watched Dude Radio and there were definitely some good points brought up and all jokes and memes aside, Intern Hank, you did well. But here are my views on what was talked about tonight, just in case you missed daddy's opinion and sweet raspy voice.

NFL Talk: Today was terrible. Browns lose and fire Chudz, Bears lose on the dumbest play ever. But the NFL needed Mr. MVP Discount Double check fuck face Rodgers in the playoffs, so what do you expect. And in regards to my fix theory, it's just a theory. It's probably not true, but the fact that the Steelers won and Baltimore and Miami lost meaning the Steelers fans had to tune into that late game is kind of absurd. Couple that with the fact that Succopp missed a field goal in perfect weather, then San Diego gets a call in OT and leads to them winning, keeping the LA market involved for at least one more week is kind of fishy to me. Also, no NFC seed was set until today, meaning everyone had a reason to watch, the Panthers kept it close for their fans, the Packers win on a play where the Bears had no reason to rush 8, and Conte just straight up didn't guard Cobb. There's a lot of "coincidence" happening in the biggest business in the US. The Harbowl last year for example. Also, remember that time the NBA ref got fired for betting on games? Yeah, I bet that NEVER happens in the NFL...

But I digress...

Kevin Ware vs. Anderson Silva: Ware was worse. No debate. I mean, his bone was out of his leg.

But back to UFC, Hank brought up a great point, that chick fight was sick and is my new source for soft core porn (sorry Cinemax).

Rory and Murph: Thanks for watching guys, and big time points for calling Hank ugly.

Kevin Hart: Kevin Hart should absolutely keep making movies. His stand up is hysterical and find it funny, I don't think his movies are funny and Ride Along should be no different. But that's him playing to his demographic. Like Tyler Perry, he appeals to the African American demographic and probably is rolling in cash as a result. I don't like those movies so I don't watch them, but a lot of people do and will. Sorry this paragraph was so serious, but I was afraid of sounding racist otherwise.

QB to Build Around: No doubt in my mind Cam Newton is the way to go. Just led the Panthers to a 12-4 record and he is an absolute BEHEMOTH. Kid's a winner, led Auburn to a ship. Plus, he's got the whole Superman thing going for him, and with my daddy persona, that's an unstoppable duo. So much promise in the future, considering he's 6'5" 245 and turning 25 in May.

Best Playoffs: NHL by far are the best playoffs in sports. More people need to start watching the NHL because even casual fans would love their playoffs. Every second of every game is so intense, every shot you're screaming, and every goal, if you're me, you're belting Chelsea Dagger at the top of your lungs. I don't like MLB just because I don't really like watching baseball that much, and considering I used to play that should tell you something. NBA I just hate all the players, but they have a good system since it's just like hockey's. NFL sucks because shit teams like the Giants can win the Super Bowl just because they somehow got hot in December (sorry Matt [kind of?]). NHL in a landslide have the best playoffs.

3 Objects to Bring to an Island: 1.) Mila Kunis. She's my dream girl and if I'm ever gonna prove my worth to her it's gonna be when I'm her last possible option.
2.) Ninja stars. Knife like weapons that can cover a lot of ground. Plus, how sweet would it be if I was actually nasty with ninja stars if I ever get off the island.
3.) Tarp: Good for shelter and would protect a fire if I manage to build one.
All in all I think my stay on this island would be more like a vacation. Also, Jeremy...Oprah? Dumbest answer ever. Plus, you guys talked about no loop-holes, but then brought in the possibility of native women being on this desolate island....Jesus.

Weirdest Place I've "Made Love": Toss up between the Hall JV Soccer Field and beach house deck that neither of us owned. Animal status. Boom

Best Pro Athlete to be: Golfer no doubt about it. Just going to the swankiest country clubs in the nicest places in the US and can play and make serious cash until I'm like 60. There's no such thing as retirement, and people go crazy for golf tournaments and good American golfers. Mansions, titties, and no life threatening injuries, that's what golfers do.
And to comment really quickly about the whole bullpen catcher debate, yes that was a dream of mine for a little bit. But then I realized how stupid that was. Catching bullpens are the WORST thing ever. You squat and catch roughly 100 pitches for an hour, have to keep mental notes on the pitchers to tell your coach, then go hit when you can't feel your knees. I caught until I was 18 and have shit knees, can't even imagine having to do that 162 times a year not including playoffs and spring training. So yeah, 75k for bum knees and about eight months away from family, I'm gonna pass.

Thoughts on New Years: Dumb holiday, just an excuse to get drunk. That being said I've had a pretty shitty year, so I'm actually excited for New Year's this year. Also sneaky best holiday of the year that was not discussed, 4th of July. Just a day of binge drinking on the beach with hopefully some good looking ladies, not a bad way to spend America's birthday.

So I think that just about covers it. Thank you to all those who gave us topics, please keep them coming and keep reading the site, big week this week. Everyone have a solid new year and don't be dumb. Matty G, I hope to see you in my basement again next week ;). And if you're a Chicago fan like me don't be sad, we still have the Hawks. Thank God for the Hawks.